Take a step back and think of someone you know who is really good at something. Maybe you know an excellent musician or a really good cook. Regardless, have you ever questioned that person’s commitment to whatever he or she does well? Probably not. People who excel at one thing or another are generally quite committed to it. Their level of commitment influences their level of success.

Guess what? The very same principle applies to our relationships. Truly lasting relationships require commitment. Strong relationships capable of weathering the storms of life are not accidental. They do not develop by happenstance. They are the result of individuals who commit themselves to those relationships and invest everything they have in them.

Relationships & More is a counseling center that provides relationship therapy, marriage and couples’ counseling, adolescent counseling, and individual therapy. They deal with relationship issues all day long in their Rye, New York clinic. They suggest that truly lasting relationships require commitments in numerous key areas.

1. One Another

At the top of the list is a commitment to one another. Where couples are concerned, it is a commitment by each person to put the other person’s needs first. When you look at it from that angle, marriage really isn’t a 50-50 proposition. It is 100-0. It is both partners giving the other 100%. When that happens, the give-and-take ultimately takes care of itself.

2. Perseverance

Hand-in-hand with a commitment to one another is the commitment to persevere in difficult times. Unfortunately, our society is one in which it is too easy to quit when things get uncomfortable. Kids sign up for soccer and then quit because they don’t like the work involved. Their parents do the same thing with their gym memberships.

Quitting on a workout routine is one thing. Quitting on a relationship is an entirely different matter. Anyone who wants their relationships to last a lifetime has to be committed to those relationships. It is a commitment to persevere; a commitment to overcome whatever challenges life presents.

3. The Truth

It is difficult for relationships to thrive when those involved cannot be honest with one another. If one party is lying to the other, the foundations of trust are already shaky. One lie leads to another lie, and another, and so on. Before long, the entire relationship collapses under the weight of those lies.

People who enjoy long-lasting relationships are committed to the truth. They know that the truth, however comfortable it might be from time to time, is the only real basis for a solid relationship. They commit to being truthful at all times.

4. Mutual Trust

Even harder than the commitment to truth is the commitment to trust. The fact is that trust can be broken. And when it is, earning it back can take quite a bit of work. Nonetheless, long-lasting relationships are those in which each party gives the other the benefit of the doubt. They are relationships in which both parties implicitly trust one another unless there is a valid reason for not doing so.

Relationships & More reminds their clients that no relationship, marriage or otherwise, is perfect. Nobody gets it right 100% of the time. However, being a man or woman of principled commitment goes a long way toward building relationships that last a lifetime.

If you have a tendency to experience short-lived relationships that seem to crash and burn at the first sign of trouble, step back and ask yourself how committed you are. A lack of commitment can kill a relationship faster than just about anything else.

An Affair of the heart — marriage retreat center for couples. Our mission is to help couples and individuals fall in love again. We offer marriage counseling, relationship coaching, and more!